Late again
This is a narrative essay that I wrote yesterday. The topic was: Write a story which includes the sentence: 'Right! That's it! You have been late too often.'
Now I'm not really that good at writing stories and narratives, so this might not be as good the previous essays. I'm ready to welcome any feedback\constructive criticism, so feel free to leave a comment.
Thank you, and happy reading! :)
Now I'm not really that good at writing stories and narratives, so this might not be as good the previous essays. I'm ready to welcome any feedback\constructive criticism, so feel free to leave a comment.
Thank you, and happy reading! :)
Seema woke up at six am, as her alarm clock went off. She got
out of bed and stretched, thinking; ‘I will not be late today.’ She remembered
how she had been late in class several times last week. Her teacher was angry
at her about this as he could not stand interruptions in his class. ‘But it
will not happen again.’ Seema decided, determined.
Seema was a college student and the youngest of four
siblings. Her elder siblings were married and well-settled, and her father had
died a few years ago. That only left Seema to care for her weak, ailing mother,
juggling her responsibilities at home along with her college classes and
assignments.
She took a quick shower, got dressed, and made breakfast for herself
and her mother. She was ready by 7:30. Her class was to begin at eight, and if
she left right now, she could catch the bus and arrive for her class on time.
She picked up her bag and walked to her front door, when she heard a soft voice
call out: “Seema.” It was her mother, someone who she could absolutely not
deny, even if it meant being late for college.
“Yes mother?” Questioned Seema, coming into her room. “Would
you like some breakfast?”
“Can you make me a cup
of tea?” Asked mother, in her gentle voice.
Here, Seema was faced with a dilemma. If she made tea for her
mother, she would miss the bus and be late in class again. But when she looked
into her mother’s eyes, all those moments came flashing back to her mind when
her mother had been late for office because she had been tending to her
children’s needs. And she realized that she could not deny her mother’s request
right now, even if it meant being late in class.
“Of course mother,” said Seema. She turned towards the
kitchen and put water to boil on the stove. Then she took out a teabag, milk
and sugar, and quickly prepared the tea.
“Here it is mother,” said Seema, serving the tea to her
mother.
“Thank you so much dear.” Said her mother gratefully. “It is
so tough to get out of bed without a cup of tea.” Then she suddenly thought of
something; “You must be getting late for college, dear. You should leave now.”
“Okay, goodbye mother.” Seema gave her mom a hug and quickly
left the house. Her class would begin in five minutes and she had certainly
missed the bus. Using the short-cut, it would be a ten minutes walk to reach,
but ‘it might take less if I run’. Thought Seema. So she began to run. Slowly
at first, but when she caught sight of her watch, her speed increased. Passer
byes stared, but she did not care. All she wanted to do was to arrive in class
on time. She ran and ran, till she reached the college gates. She rushed inside
and hurried to her classroom. She could already hear her teacher’s voice from
outside. She looked at her watch: Two minutes past eight. She sighed, and then
took a deep breath. Then she knocked at the door, her heart thumping madly
inside her, and entered the room. The teacher stopped speaking momentarily,
looked at her, frowned and said: “Right! That’s it! You have been late too often.”
“Please excuse me this time, sir. I’m sorry. It will not
happen again.” She pleaded.
“I have had enough! I cannot stand this kind of behavior anymore.
You may leave the class.” He said angrily.
Seema turned around and walked out of the class, fighting
back tears. The entire class was looking at her. But as she exited the school
building, she realized that she had no regrets.
Oh my goodness, this story is really good!! ;D I was drawn right in! I love how you drove straight to the point and how the story revolves around that quotation! Also, the use of emotive language is excellent here! :D It's like I can see Seema's character spring to life even in just a short story! I love this so much! You should write more stories like this! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! Really, I'm flattered! :)
DeleteSure, I'll share more stories on my blog soon. :)
You're most welcome! That's great! ;D
DeleteFatima... this is soo good! Absolute brilliant! Loved to read out to Khadija, chachi and Hamza! You are a one good story teller my dear. Please keep writing more about seema and others :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Talha Chachu!! And thanks for the comment!
DeleteIt was a lovely read, short and moving. And yes, it is a circumstance that school going children face, some more than others. You portrayed it wonderfully. Two thumbs up! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! :)
DeleteI am proud of you my daughter. Your story has the power to move people. Thanks and keep writing.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteI am proud of you my daughter. Your story has the power to move people. Thanks and keep writing.
ReplyDeleteMashaAllah fatima brillilant...excellent use of words and emotions...such a pleasure to read....waiting to read more from you
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! :)
DeleteHeart touching! Keep blogging!
ReplyDeleteThanks! :)
DeleteMa sha Allah! words , emotions and feelings all blend together beautifully
ReplyDeletethis is an awesome story fatima!!!
ReplyDeletewell written
Thank you Vania.
Deletedo visit my blog too
ReplyDeletehttp://vaniasstories.blogspot.com/
Sure.
DeleteYou don't include'Right! That's it! You have been late too often.'which was in question
ReplyDeleteI did! It's at the end of the fourth-last paragraph.
DeleteNice post. I was checking this blog and I am impressed! Extremely helpful information specially the last part I care for such info a lot. I was seeking this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.
ReplyDeletemy mother Paragraph
Nice story Fatima but that was a story copied from old past papers by Redspot Publishers.
ReplyDeleteWhat a pity, I checked this post now!
ReplyDeleteI also wrote a short story including this quotation, as practice for my English exam.
Btw, really love the blend of emotions and the ending where the thought of helping her mother overrides the regret.
Hey your story was amazing anyways is this story contain 300 till 350 words
ReplyDeleteAmazing 😃
ReplyDeleteCould u do a story which include a letter which caused great disappointment or happiness plssssssssss 🥺♥️❤️
ReplyDelete