Late again

This is a narrative essay that I wrote yesterday. The topic was: Write a story which includes the sentence: 'Right! That's it! You have been late too often.'
Now I'm not really that good at writing stories and narratives, so this might not be as good the previous essays. I'm ready to welcome any feedback\constructive criticism, so feel free to leave a comment. 

Thank you, and happy reading! :)


Seema woke up at six am, as her alarm clock went off. She got out of bed and stretched, thinking; ‘I will not be late today.’ She remembered how she had been late in class several times last week. Her teacher was angry at her about this as he could not stand interruptions in his class. ‘But it will not happen again.’ Seema decided, determined.

Seema was a college student and the youngest of four siblings. Her elder siblings were married and well-settled, and her father had died a few years ago. That only left Seema to care for her weak, ailing mother, juggling her responsibilities at home along with her college classes and assignments.

She took a quick shower, got dressed, and made breakfast for herself and her mother. She was ready by 7:30. Her class was to begin at eight, and if she left right now, she could catch the bus and arrive for her class on time. She picked up her bag and walked to her front door, when she heard a soft voice call out: “Seema.” It was her mother, someone who she could absolutely not deny, even if it meant being late for college.

“Yes mother?” Questioned Seema, coming into her room. “Would you like some breakfast?”

“Can you make me a  cup of tea?” Asked mother, in her gentle voice.

Here, Seema was faced with a dilemma. If she made tea for her mother, she would miss the bus and be late in class again. But when she looked into her mother’s eyes, all those moments came flashing back to her mind when her mother had been late for office because she had been tending to her children’s needs. And she realized that she could not deny her mother’s request right now, even if it meant being late in class.

“Of course mother,” said Seema. She turned towards the kitchen and put water to boil on the stove. Then she took out a teabag, milk and sugar, and quickly prepared the tea.

“Here it is mother,” said Seema, serving the tea to her mother.

“Thank you so much dear.” Said her mother gratefully. “It is so tough to get out of bed without a cup of tea.” Then she suddenly thought of something; “You must be getting late for college, dear. You should leave now.”

“Okay, goodbye mother.” Seema gave her mom a hug and quickly left the house. Her class would begin in five minutes and she had certainly missed the bus. Using the short-cut, it would be a ten minutes walk to reach, but ‘it might take less if I run’. Thought Seema. So she began to run. Slowly at first, but when she caught sight of her watch, her speed increased. Passer byes stared, but she did not care. All she wanted to do was to arrive in class on time. She ran and ran, till she reached the college gates. She rushed inside and hurried to her classroom. She could already hear her teacher’s voice from outside. She looked at her watch: Two minutes past eight. She sighed, and then took a deep breath. Then she knocked at the door, her heart thumping madly inside her, and entered the room. The teacher stopped speaking momentarily, looked at her, frowned and said: “Right! That’s it! You have been late too often.”

“Please excuse me this time, sir. I’m sorry. It will not happen again.” She pleaded.

“I have had enough! I cannot stand this kind of behavior anymore. You may leave the class.” He said angrily.

Seema turned around and walked out of the class, fighting back tears. The entire class was looking at her. But as she exited the school building, she realized that she had no regrets.

Comments

  1. Oh my goodness, this story is really good!! ;D I was drawn right in! I love how you drove straight to the point and how the story revolves around that quotation! Also, the use of emotive language is excellent here! :D It's like I can see Seema's character spring to life even in just a short story! I love this so much! You should write more stories like this! :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! Really, I'm flattered! :)
      Sure, I'll share more stories on my blog soon. :)

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    2. You're most welcome! That's great! ;D

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  2. Fatima... this is soo good! Absolute brilliant! Loved to read out to Khadija, chachi and Hamza! You are a one good story teller my dear. Please keep writing more about seema and others :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Talha Chachu!! And thanks for the comment!

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  3. It was a lovely read, short and moving. And yes, it is a circumstance that school going children face, some more than others. You portrayed it wonderfully. Two thumbs up! :)

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  4. I am proud of you my daughter. Your story has the power to move people. Thanks and keep writing.

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  5. I am proud of you my daughter. Your story has the power to move people. Thanks and keep writing.

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  6. MashaAllah fatima brillilant...excellent use of words and emotions...such a pleasure to read....waiting to read more from you

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  7. Heart touching! Keep blogging!

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  8. Ma sha Allah! words , emotions and feelings all blend together beautifully

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  9. this is an awesome story fatima!!!
    well written

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  10. do visit my blog too
    http://vaniasstories.blogspot.com/

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  11. You don't include'Right! That's it! You have been late too often.'which was in question

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    Replies
    1. I did! It's at the end of the fourth-last paragraph.

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  12. Nice post. I was checking this blog and I am impressed! Extremely helpful information specially the last part I care for such info a lot. I was seeking this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.
    my mother Paragraph

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  13. Nice story Fatima but that was a story copied from old past papers by Redspot Publishers.

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  14. What a pity, I checked this post now!
    I also wrote a short story including this quotation, as practice for my English exam.
    Btw, really love the blend of emotions and the ending where the thought of helping her mother overrides the regret.

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  15. Hey your story was amazing anyways is this story contain 300 till 350 words

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  16. Amazing 😃

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  17. Could u do a story which include a letter which caused great disappointment or happiness plssssssssss 🥺♥️❤️

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