Short Story: At Last

Here's a story I wrote a few days ago in response to a topic given in an AS level English Language past paper that I was solving. I think it has been quite a while since I wrote any stories - I've been more into writing articles lately - so the standard of this is perhaps not as good as it should be. Also, this story is focused towards exploring the inner thoughts and feelings of the main character, rather than building suspense and excitement, which I think is a weak point, but that is what the task had asked me to do.

I hope you enjoy reading it. I would really appreciate any feedback and constructive criticism, as there certainly is a lot of room for improvement. Additionally, my exams are only three months away, so feedback and suggestions would be very helpful.

Write a story called ‘At Last’, about a person who has waited a very long time for something important to happen. In your writing, create a sense of this person’s mood and how it changes through the story.

Shamim was usually a deep sleeper but this morning, she woke up an hour before her alarm clock was set to ring. Was that a dream she’d just had? She wondered, rubbing her eyes groggily. No! She was suddenly wide awake. Today was the day she had been waiting for, all those long months and years. Today was the day when her son would return to her, after completing his post-graduate studies in Canada. Today was the day she would reunite with him, after four painful years of separation.

Shamim got out of bed, feeling happy and energetic. Surprisingly, she wasn’t even having those muscle cramps that she always did at this time of the day. She got dressed and walked over to the kitchen, thinking of her son. He would probably be boarding the transatlantic flight right now. She cooked a bowl of barley porridge for herself and sat down to eat. But she could hardly eat more than a couple of spoonfuls. She didn’t feel hungry at all. Her thoughts kept wandering over to her son, and finally, she left her breakfast unfinished.

She walked out of the kitchen and started tidying the house. Everything seemed to be out of place. She carried the stuff to their respective places, panting a little. Her weak body wasn’t used to doing much work. After tidying up as much as she could, she sat down to rest in an armchair. Soon her maid arrived, and she was on her feet again, giving instructions and directions.

‘Everything must be spotlessly clean’, she ordered, as the young girl dusted. ‘Take the rugs outside and brush them. Oh, and remember to clean the mirrors too, they’re very dirty.’ She droned on, giving an endlessly long list of instructions while her maid cleaned, dusted, broomed, mopped and brushed all through the house until it was spotlessly clean to her satisfaction.

Feeling exhausted, Shamim decided to go into her room for a nap. But she found her footsteps taking her to her son’s room instead. When was the last time she had been in this room? She sat down on the edge of his bed and closed her eyes, her mind racing back four years ago. It was the day he had to leave for Canada, and here she was, watching him pack his suitcase, feeling proud yet disappointed. Their last conversation, his promise to return very soon, her futile efforts to hold back her tears. Their last hug, and she had broken down, rivers flowing down her eyes. He had hugged her, comforted her, and assured her that he would be back sooner than she would expect.

Wait, was she crying again now? She returned to the present and realized that there were tears streaking down her cheeks. She wiped them away confidently. ‘No need to cry anymore’, she told herself. ‘He’s coming back tonight.’

Shamim looked around his room and arranged it to be a little better. She changed the bed sheets and put a fresh towel in his bathroom. After making sure that everything looked fine and comfortable, she turned to leave. Her eyes suddenly fell on a bottle of perfume resting on his table. Carefully, she picked it up and opened the lid. Yes, this was the perfume he wore every day. Its smell brought a sea of memories to her mind. She smiled, closed the lid and placed back in its place.

There was still a lot of work to be done. She had decided on making his favourite dish for dinner tonight – biryani. She came into the kitchen and started bustling about, chopping vegetables and frying spices with gusto. It took her two hours of work, done with an unusually enthusiastic spirit. Biryani was ready now, and it’s delightful aroma has spread all over the house. Pleased with her creation, Shamim turned off the stove and walked out of the kitchen.

There were still a couple of hours left until his arrival. Shamim was very tired now. She came into her room and climbed into bed, lying down to relax. ‘It would be a good idea to sleep for a while – I’ve been up since so early.’ She told herself and closed her eyes. But after fifteen minutes of lying down in silence, she realized that she could just not sleep. She got out of bed and went to her closet to pick out some clothes to change into. She picked out a beautiful blue dress with black and silver embroidery. It wasn’t new, but she hadn’t wore it in a long time and it looked lovely on her. She took a shower, changed into that dress, and brushed her hair.

It still wasn’t time. For a few moments, she stood in front of the wall clock, staring at it patiently. She wished it could go faster. Today felt like the longest day of her life. Then she sat down in her armchair, wondering if his plane had landed yet. Her ears were all attentive towards the door, eagerly waiting for the noise of a car to stop, a doorbell to ring.

And at last, the doorbell rang. Shamim nearly jumped out of her skin! Her heart thumping madly, she reached the door and opened it. And there, standing right in front of her, a huge smile on his face, was the beautiful young man known to her as her son.